The tavern goods
Good company.
Questionable decisions.
Cute creatures. Unfiltered attitudes. A little tavern to take into the world.
The official
Bravekini
Your next bad decision
looks good on you.
Two pieces. Four filthy punchlines. Absolutely fuck-all shame. Sir Honks-A-Lot and Draft Punk made this for shameless flirting, dirty minds, and vacation photos that stay the hell out of the family group chat. Slip it on. Be the bad decision. Let them fail their saving throw.
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Questionable Tavern Essentials
Tumblers for questionable toasts. Coasters for the evidence. Bowls for hoarded snacks. Pillows for recovering from your decisions. Bring the tavern home.
Protecting tables. Destroying egos — Draft Punk Coaster
Somebody has to protect the furniture and keep the room humble. Draft Punk volunteers for both. Give your favorite drink a landing spot with a dragon whose table manners are considerably better than his people skills.
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Put it down. You've said enough — Sir Honks-A-Lot Coaster
Your drink needs a place to sit. Your opinions could use a rest, too. Sir Honks-A-Lot points out the obvious with a stare that says this conversation has reached its natural conclusion. Set it down. Take the hint.
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Good legs. Better comebacks — Draft Punk Wine Tumbler
Admire the legs. Brace for the commentary. Draft Punk serves a full-bodied attitude with a finish that lingers long after the argument. For wine lovers whose sharpest accessory is their mouth.
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Aged to perfection. Petty by choice — Draft Punk Wine Tumbler
The wine has matured. Draft Punk's grudges have simply developed more complexity. Raise a glass to excellent taste, selective forgiveness, and remembering exactly what you said in 2017.
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This pairs well with poor decisions — Sir Honks-A-Lot Wine Tumbler
Notes of mischief. A bold finish. Absolutely questionable judgment. Sir Honks-A-Lot raises a glass to the plans that sounded better before anyone said them out loud. Pairs beautifully with gossip and 'hear me out.'
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Uncorked & Unsupervised — Sir Honks-A-Lot Wine Glass
Uncork the wine. Misplace the supervision. Sir Honks-A-Lot is loose with a cork, a full glass, and the confidence of someone who definitely wasn't put in charge. For evenings that start with one glass and end with a story.
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Emotional Support Water, Offensive Support Goose — SHAL Stainless Steel Water Bottle
Your water provides emotional support. The goose handles complaints. Sir Honks-A-Lot brings his judgmental side-eye and absolutely no intention of becoming more approachable. Take a sip. Let the goose say what you’re thinking.
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I’m a Fucking Delight — Draft Punk Stainless Steel Water Bottle
Hydrated? Working on it. Delightful? Never in question. Draft Punk brings his smug grin, purple scales, and absolutely unsolicited attitude to your daily water intake. For anyone whose personality is an acquired taste—and who has no intention of becoming more agreeable. Fill it up. Take a sip. Continue being a fucking delight.
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Things Escalated — Egg-Beating Goose Apron
He was given a whisk and one simple instruction. The eggs never stood a chance. A wide-eyed Sir Honks-A-Lot surveys a yolk-covered situation that got wildly out of wing. For cooks who follow directions with entirely too much enthusiasm.
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Measured with My Heart — Chaotic Baker Goose Apron
Measuring cups are suggestions. The heart wants more butter. A blissfully confident Sir Honks-A-Lot pours first and asks questions never. For bakers whose most precise measurement is “that looks about right.”
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Who Let Me Cook? — Kitchen Chaos Goose Apron
You handed a goose a spatula. Now everyone wants answers. With an innocent shrug and a suspiciously overflowing pot, this little menace would like to discuss your role in the hiring process.
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Empty Plate, Big Opinions — Sassy Draft Apron
An empty plate and a full list of suggestions? Bold choice. This unimpressed Draft has heard enough from the kitchen's unpaid consultants. For cooks who serve dinner hot and unsolicited feedback cold.
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Dragon-Blessed — Crispy by Choice Apron
Some call it burnt. He calls it a personal blessing. A very proud Draft gives his toast the full fire-breathing treatment. For grill masters, enthusiastic roasters, and anyone who has ever rebranded a kitchen mistake as a technique.
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Reduce the Wine — Apron
The recipe called for a reduction. He delivered. A cheeky dragon raises a glass while dinner does whatever dinner is doing. For the cook who considers tasting the wine an essential—and ongoing—part of quality control.
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Sir Honks-A-Lot — Honk & Disorderly Stainless Steel Tumbler
First of His Name. Banned from Three Taverns. Still convinced he is the victim. Sir Honks-A-Lot brings his foam mohawk, oversized tankard, and absolutely no remorse to The Juice Bar Tavern. Honk & Disorderly — “I’m why we can’t have nice things.” Perfect for game nights and making an entrance you will be asked to explain later.
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make it yours.
Original tavern designs, made to order through Fourthwall. The store has the current prices, available options, and delivery details for each product.
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